Leo's sick

     Ok. Just on here to get some thoughts out of my head. Man, it feels like sometimes when he gets sick I just go into full survival mode. It's just about getting through it and it's hard to get my head out of how it feels and remind myself that we are ok and this will end. 

    To be clear, Leo just has a cold and a fever--so, congestion, coughing, maybe sore throat, and a fever. As far as I know, this is regular and has no complications or further infections. It's simply his body getting stronger. If you think I sound dramatic in describing my mental state, I'm ok with that :) Parenting a sick medically complicated kid is no joke on the things running around in my brain. Also, I know that parenting any sick kid is no joke. 

    Let me see if I can start at the beginning of my train of thoughts this morning. The nurse told me he had been coughing since 2:30am, staying mostly asleep, and had a temperature. Also he'd had a bit of an awake spell with coughing and some puking up his nighttime fluids. We don't give him food at nighttime when he's sick like this because he can get reflux and reflux makes phlegm and congestions 10x worse (at least for Leo). So fluids keep him hydrated and still give him some calories. 

    So, when I take over from the nurse, I'm trying to determine the best order to try and give him fluids, food, and medicine to help them stay down, him to be comfortable, and still get as many calories as possible but at the very least stay hydrated and not puke everything up. That's one of the trickiest parts of Leo being sick with a cold. His congestion causes so much more coughing, gagging, and puking. And with him being a small kiddo in terms of weight, there's a very real voice that can come into my head saying, "He's not getting enough calories. You gotta keep going. He's never going to catch up. You don't want him to lose too much weight! You're not doing enough!" A very anxious voice, if that wasn't clear.

    That means that today has been a day of managing his fever, snuggling Leo, and getting as much fluid and meds in him to keep him comfortable, as close to normal intake as possible, and on the road to healthier. I usually watch my favorite youtubers and sit with Leo all day. When I give him food or liquids on days like today, I give him less at a time and hold him up more--to hopefully minimize puking and increase his comfort--so it turns into snuggles and TV.

    It didn't originally seem like the meds were helping manage his fever. That had me worried. I sent a video of him breathing to my doctor brother-in-law and I checked his oxygen levels. With a fever there's always a fear in the back of my head that comes to the front that it's going to get too high and send him into a seizure. 

    However, the meds have been helping his fever a lot. I'm behind on liquids and food, but he's asleep! Now it's trying to guess how fast and what to give him so that he can continue to get hydrated but it doesn't bug his stomach and wake him up. Obviously I don't get all of that to happen. But that's what I'm trying to remind my brain of in writing all of this out: (1 I am caring for him well and as best I know how (2 God's got him. (3 and he is ultimately ok and going to be ok. 

    I don't have to fix everything and we are ok.