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Recovering

      I recently said to Brad, "Leo's hard to be around right now." With a non-mobile kid, it is so easy to hold him and sit in front of the computer watching something. After Leo's surgery, we did that a lot. But as I've been trying to come out of that habit, I've come to this realization. Leo's hard for me to be around right now. And I hate that.      Going deeper. Leo has screws in his neck. Leo's vertebrae are, Lord willing, fusing together. Leo has brain damage that makes his body and muscles move in very unnatural ways. I am caring for my child who cannot support his own neck and needs to strengthen his neck muscles while rods and screws hold his vertebrae (and very important ones) in place. As a mother, that just can really mess with your head.      I am analyzing every movement. I am imagining the screws inside his neck as he pushes his head with cerebral palsy force off to one side. I am analyzing every muscle and bulge in his neck. ...

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