Late night thoughts
God, thank you for taking care of Leo today. He is yours and you love him more than I do, which is hard for me to comprehend. You love me, too. You don't enjoy seeing me hurt. You don't enjoy seeing your children suffer. You hurt with me. You ache for me. Please help me come to you for comfort. God, I'm angry at you and I don't know how to come to you and rest. Thank you for hearing my prayers. Thank you that Leo's well being does not rest on my shoulders. Please give me strength for tonight and tomorrow. Truthfully, it's been a hard week. I'm definitely pushed past my capacity in all of this. I'm carrying several mental bricks. One, I want to protect his neck. I want to make sure the collar is doing what it needs to and help him not move his neck in ways that are not conducive to healing. Two, his muscle dystonia and tone have really increased since the surgery and I am trying to help him learn to quiet his body again. And th...